Thursday, February 21, 2013

Just How I'm Feeling..

I finally realize the major components a man has to have in order to be in a successful relationship.
1. A job/ and or seeking an education
2. Money/ (not necessarily baller status but enough to take you on a date)
3. Faith in whatever religion you belong to (mine remains with the LORD)
4. Being faithful/ or at least not dumb enough to get caught!!
5. Security/ meaning your woman needs to feel safe with you

Now these are just a few if I think of more later on trust me I will add them one. Now I love men...my brothers a man....but damn fellas its hard when some of you act the way you do. I understand that shit happens and sometimes you may be jobless. But if that is the case your ass should never be without a job for longer than a month or two, and if you are and you are still smoking weed like a dumbass, what can I say (just shoot yourself). No real man will stand for a woman paying for things all the time. Now ladies that does not mean you can't buy your man a meal every once in a while. Just make damn sure not to make that a habit. If a man is okay with his mom or woman working and paying for everything he is a lame dude and needs to be put to the side. I know women love hard but if the man you are with does not follow the way you worship head could eventually lead you astray from the right path. If a man in not being faithful to you sexually it opens up a world of heart and possible diseases and no man is worth that pain, or the cost of doctor’s visits and medicine. Now ladies please listen and hear me good when I say if you don't feel safe with a man let his ass go. Nothing is worse than being with a man who is on Kevin Hart's level of protecting a woman LOL. This is just how I'm feeling right now...don't worry my next piece will be more upbeat and back to the old Bre I promise.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Why Ladies???

Lately i have been doing things in my relationship that i thought i would never do, so I have to ask the ladies. why do we do shit we don't want to? Let's be honest most ladies don't always feel like cooking, cleaning, hanging with your man's dumb ass friends, and last but not least we don't always feel  like having sex. Us as women do things to keep our men happy but when it all comes to an end we can't believe the shit we did to keep them happy. I am suggesting that us as women go on a damn strike!!!

Why the hell am i washing your clothes?? M****erfu**er don't you have hands. You're the one who needs clean clothes. So ladies if you're washing your mans clothes and he never washes yours stop doing it!!

This one is for me personally!!
Why i always have to cook??? I do believe you like to eat also, so freaking cook. I'm in the kitchen sweating getting burned and missing my damn shows....and for what?? So you  can play your damn game, or watch a damn game. If you really apprecited me cooking you would give me a damn break every once in a while duh. Add some candles and it might even be romantic, then you could get some without having to ask..That's all i'm saying.

Why the hell do men always ask a woman to give them head??? If a woman wants to do that then she will, we as women don't need men saying dumb shit like "Come lay your head on my lap", or "baby you know what would make me happy right now". First off I'm not tired so i don't need to lay my head no damn where; and second of all i don't give a damn what what else would make you happy, you should be good with a full stomach and clean clothes you damn bastard! How would men feel if they cooked, cleaned, washed our clothes and on top of that had to give us head while our favorite show was on. Shit to them that's your Birthday, Christmas, and Valentine's Day present rolled up in one.

Shit, until you feel that your man is treating you the same way you treat his ass I say you take away some of his privileges. Sorry men I'm usually on your side but damn most men are really ungrateful. You think your woman is suppose to do this shit, instead of thanking her for what she does because she loves you. If you think you're entitled to this type of treatment change that way of thinking before a man comes around and is not afraid to give her the attention you don't. I promise you he is out there just waiting for you to mess up.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Reason you should not cheat!

Reasons you should not cheat!
Cheating is an action which we are all too familiar with. Cheating can be debated and discussed until you are on your last breath, but it will never be resolved. I would like to try to shine a new light on the matter.
          Let’s just get this out of the way right now. Cheating is wrong. No matter what the reason is behind it. There is no justification for cheating because you always have a choice in the matter. Some say something like “something came over me” or “I just couldn’t control myself”. I say if you don’t have multiple personalities then take that sh** to the moon. Now think about it if that same person who was about to cheat knew that this action would bring them death, would they still do it?? I am 99.9% sure almost no one would. But if you would you need to rush over to sex addicts anonymous, and get a therapist.
          Some prefer to be with more than one person sexually and if that’s what you want then fine do that and be single. Others like a challenge, or feel like they have something to prove, then there are those cases when people do it for sport (let us pray for them lol). Cheating is death. I know you are thinking well how is cheating death?
Let me tell you how.
Diseases!!! Not everybody is clean.Fine on the outside does not mean clean on the inside.
          You could end up giving it to somebody too good and before you know it you have a fatal attraction. Now trying to cut off someone who is obsessed with you can damn sure bring you physical harm so be aware. If the person you are cheating with is also involved with someone things can get pretty bad. That other person might snap and come after both of you and believe me you, you don’t want to get there (just watch lifetime and you will see). Hold on let’s not forget the possibility of your significant other finding out. That is the worst case because there is some truth to a thin line between love and hate (sh** I saw what martin went through and I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone).
Are you scared yet???
 I can tell some of you aren’t yet. But don’t worry I’m just getting started. Brace yourself my silly side is coming.
Cheating can also cause death of trust for the person you are with. Now we all have had trust issues before. So why should someone you’re with, especially if you care about them have to go through learning to trust again because you’re selfish. And YES all cheaters are selfish.
Now if you messed up while cheating that could be the death of a life with no responsibilities. Yes!!! People I’m talking about babies. Now this could possibly be the worst way for someone to find out that you’re a horny toad. Well actually maybe their doctor calling them is. Either way they are both horrible.
Guy’s condoms slip off, bust, people poke holes in them (whores). I think that’s way too many odds to go up against for a piece of ass which by the way may not even be that good. Now I’m not willing to risk a relationship that is good, or could be long-lasting for sex that was not satisfying. I know some of you are like what if the relationship is not that good. Then all I have to say is break-up with them..duh dumb ass. Life is short don’t waste it on some bullshit. Now if you’re done being dumb I will get back to what I was saying!!!
Fellas what if you risk what you have with your girl over (excuse my French) desert pussy. You know you would be pissed the fuck off. Or what if this other girl has bad vagina odor we gone call that fishngitis. She could be real inexperienced, be bad at giving head, doesn’t give head at all. I mean “life is like a box of chocolates, you just never know what you gone get” lol my bad I had too. But that’s real; I mean what kind of story are you going to share with your boys. And don’t say men don’t talk about shit like that ‘cause you do.. why else are women considered easy, and ho’s, yall got some big ass mouths too don’t front. But your story could end up going something like this:
“Hey man how was that bitch you hooked up with”. (This is how I picture men talking)
“Man…..(disappointed face). She was loose as a goose, and had some ugly ass sex faces. Sort of like she was taking a shit and confused at the same time”.
“Nigga what” laughs his friends.
“That’s not all either”.
“Aww shit” they yell getting hype.
“I swear I think her ass farted and not her pussy”.
“OOOHHHHH” they scream going crazy “EEEWWWWW”.
Now you have to walk around with yo’ head down because your friends teasing you because, all you could give that girl was gas. So please stop and really think before you do it.
Oh ladies don’t think I’m not about to tell you what could go wrong.
Now how would you feel if you cheated and got a man with a little dick? ( No disrespect to the men with little dicks but appeal can go a long way…lol.. long way.. what would yall know about those haha. Naw I’m sorry don’t stop reading. I know it’s not about the size but about the motion lol) But ladies you can get a small penis, an uncircumcised penis (and at first sight it can scare the shit out of you) an HD “hook-dick”. A man just as hairy as can be can come your way, and with a sticky dick… I think we gone call that (DTD) dump-truck-dick. You don’t want to end with a man who can’t eat no matter how hungry he is. You what I’m talking about ladies, he licking like your vagina is an electrified fence. Or one of those men who don’t do shit but suck on your damn clit, and too damn hard at that (well maybe that was jut my bad experience). Ladies all I’m saying don’t have your story end up something like this:
“Hey girl, how was that fine ass nigga dick action” asked by the big mouth friend.
“Was his dick game crucial” asked the ugly friend.
“Shit….(disappointed face) Hell naw”.
“What” they say together.
“Shit he didn’t even know how to kiss right”.
“You lying” haha they laugh at you.
“Girl I’m saying his tongue was everywhere but my mouth. The he dropped his pants and his dick was shaped like a old scrunchy (they eyes get big they trying not to laugh) the his dick looked like a dog with the pink thing hanging out”
“Aww shit he never snipped that tip”
“Nope (regretting it now) he tried to hit it from the back and kept slipping out, and not because I was too wet. Then when I threw it back at him he told me to be still”.
“What” says the ugly one.
“You lying” says big mouth.
“Nope his dick was not long enough, on top of that he moans like a bitch, and when I got on top to ride him he lasted a whole 40 seconds”.
Now doesn’t that sound like some bullshit? So ladies please don’t do it. ‘Cause your friends are going to remind you all the damn time about that weak ass dude you messed with.
          If you are or have cheated because you are trying to get something more than what you are getting at home let me ask you. Have you explored all your options? If the answer is yes then like I said before break-up with them, but if no then maybe you should try something new before you take the selfish route. For example if you need something sexual that your partner is not doing you should try discussing it with them first. If that does not work try going to a sex store together, or watch a porn together it may sound dumb but it can’t hurt to try. What everybody needs to learn and accept is when up are in a relationship you have to be open and willing to try new things (not necessarily a bunch of off the wall wild crazy stuff though). I guarantee if you are bored your partner, they are probably bored with you as well. Here are a few ideas on how you could spice it up.
1.     Role play: I know some people think it’s stupid but even if it’s not for you try it. What could it hurt? If all else fails you will get a funny story out of it.
2.     Sex in a public place: This is always spices things up; it brings intensity, and adds some risk. If you are currently with someone who is not willing to do this then I suggest letting them go. Naw I’m just playing… well kind of. If they can’t do this then they are BORING!!! When it comes to sex there is no room for that.
3.     A romantic date with sensual massages afterwards. (And when I say do something romantic that does not mean dinner and a movie, that’s played out. Be more creative. And if you can’t I could see why someone would want to cheat on you….. I don’t think its right, but I could definitely see why they would).
4.     Bring some sex toys into the mix.
I mean there are just so many things you can do to spice it up. For example men I know a lot of you like the Latina appeal. If that happens to be your thing then buy your girl a wig, tell her to take some classes so her hips don’t lie, and teach her to say papi just how you like. Then turn the lights off and have a night with you new (old) girl. If that don’t quite cut it have a drink and head to the bathroom. Now ladies if you need something different you could have your man practice a different accent that turns you on, tell him to learn to hump to a different rhythm, I have no idea’s about small penises I guess try extenze and a penis pump, and if all else fails take a few shots and use your imagination, or that battery operated device you have in a shoe box or hidden in your dresser. But you can’t get mad if someone talks to you about doing something different. Don’t be offended, they are just trying to do the right thing and please right(okay well not everybody some people are just trying to be super nasty, say no to those people).
In conclusion when you emotionally invested in someone, or you have some who is emotionally invested in you it’s never okay to take away their ability to love, trust, or instill self doubt. We only live once so if you want sex with more than one person either find someone who is down with that or stay single. Just don’t allow someone to waste time that they can never get back on you and you’re not respecting them 100%. I hope this piece helped, or even change some views on cheating. If so don’t let this be like when you go to church and you’re saved Sun-Tue then the rest of the week you are right back to your old tricks. If there is anything else you want me to cover go ahead shoot me an e-mail, leave a comment or hit me up on twitter.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Facebook etiquette

                                       Facebook etiquette

                                      By: Ariana Johnson (aka BRE)

I think some rules need to be addressed about how to use facebook.

In my opinion 60% of people who use facebook are using it incorrectly. For those of you who know you are misusing this social network pay attention!!!!

1.    If you are going to tag someone in a picture make sure at least 70% of they body is in the picture. I am sick of people tagging half my damn face or me in the background when I didn’t even know a picture was being taken so now I look cockeyed, and I end up with all the “lol’s” and “damn girl were you okay” and “dang Bre what was you looking at”. Obliviously not the damn camera. So please stop tagging people like that.. it’s just wrong LOL. 
2.    If someone writes you a message about something personal (this is a big one so pay attention) please, please do not reply by writing that shit on they wall so everyone can see. THAT’S WHY THEY SENT A MESSAGE!!! They didn’t want everybody in they business (DUMMY).
3.    Oh and this is a big one right here also. For those of you who are an open book and put entirely too damn much of facebook stop complaining when everyone is in your business. If you didn’t know facebook is a social network. For those of you who don’t know what “social” means may I suggest you consult your nearest Webster, or dictionary.com.
4.    For the people who talk sh** on facebook….I would tell you to stop it because we are adults and there are better ways to handle your problems. But honestly when I’m bored that crap is rather entertaining, so I guess you fools can continue to do what you do.
5.    (Now this is just my thing) But for those of you who like to take random pictures of food that does not look appetizing… STOP IT!! You putting up pictures talking about “Look at what I made”… Are you serious!!! You claiming that you made that sh** which looks like vomit. Shame on you.
6.    I honestly think this is one of the most important things in my book so listen up (lol I mean read carefully). For those of you who know damn well you are not good in relationships stop touching your relationship status button. I am sick of you being “single”, then two days later you’re “engaged” and a week after that yo’ ass single again. You know dam well you don’t know how to make a relationship work. Now you’re just proving it to future prospects. If you don’t have a ring and a marriage license then YO’ ASS IS NOT MARRIED!!!! Stop trying to be cute and tell the truth, you in a relationship with some good sex and you damn head is gone. We really don’t need to know all that just say you in a relationship okay, Thank You.

I will add to this list if I continue to see some of the crazy sh** people do. I hope this will help some lost souls out there. Thanks for reading, and good luck!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Are Disney Movies Really For Children?

Are Disney movies really made for children? As a child I got the just of movies but I never started looking at it another way until I was in college. I know most of you are probably thinking what are you talking about, so let me help you get on my level of thinking. The Lion King one of the most popular Disney movies of all time has plenty of lessons that children should not be witnessing at such a young age. For example Scar is jealous of his brother Mufasa because he is king, and that is what Scar wants to be. Scar arranges for his brother to be killed, then makes his nephew believe that it is his fault. In my head children should not be learning about family feuds and framing people at the age 0-6. There are all kinds of murder in this movie but most rap is congressional hearing, but we will get to that another day. Maybe I am the only one that realizes there are only two male lions in the movie with all these female lions so I’m guessing incest is going on. For those who are thinking did she just take it there let me say right now YES I DID. Now I could go on and on about this movie but it’s only fair that I give you another example. Snow White… so much can be said about this movie. The Queen is jealous because her step-daughter is prettier than her so she sends one of her workers out with Snow White in the woods so he can kill her. One thing can sure be said whoever made these Disney movies sure did have some family issues LOL. In our world this is called putting a hit out on somebody. In a normal family jealous does happen okay they can have that point but most don’t go out ordering hits on people because they are pretty. Now what is that telling these children? If you family member looks better than you just go on ahead and kill them to get them out the way. Disney was wrong for sending that message to kids. Now on to Snow White herself she is a rude little thing, she goes to the dwarf’s house and just makes herself at home. Granted she knocked before she entered, but knock and the door shall be opened to you is what I learned. That’s why parents always getting caught during their adult activities because a Disney movie influence your kid and now they think it’s okay not to knock.  Also she let animals all up in the Dwarf’s house. Now what if they would have been allergic and she thought that seven little children were living in the woods before she saw them. What seven children do you know that are going to live alone in the woods???  Don’t take what I say to serious I’m just bringing you into my world and way of thinking. Let me know if you have any ideas on what I should write about.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Is there a such thing as too much sex???

Is there such a thing as too much sex? In times where everyone is put into a categories when do you know how much sex is too much sex. If you’re not having sex multiple times a week you can be categorized as a prude. If you are having sex everyday or every other day it might be said that you are a nymphomaniac. Can you have too much sex if you are only with one person sexually?  Is that term only reserved for people who have more than one sexual partner? I'm sure most men would argue that there can never be a too much sex. Now let’s put a new spin on it you just got home from a long day at work and even mustering up the strength to shower is hard. Are you able to still have sex?? For the men that said yes would you be able to go rounds? If she were to wake you up in the middle of the night could you do it?  I want to hear men and ladies; is there such a thing as too much sex?